


A Mind-Flayer's Dragonborn Crush

by Wolfmage553



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Ship Teasing, Singing while fighting, slight Mood Whiplash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfmage553/pseuds/Wolfmage553
Summary: During the battle against Clarota in the Underdark, the party (mostly just Scanlan and Vex) unwittingly find out that Clarota has a huge crush on Tiberius. Vex and Scanlan proceed to tease the both of them about it, in song form.
Relationships: Clarota/Tiberius Stormwind
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	A Mind-Flayer's Dragonborn Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I am surprised more people haven't at least made a joke about this ship. Yes, I am using slightly changed lyrics from Horny Angry Tango.

Tiberius looked at Clarota with a look of combined anger and betrayal, sure he had only known him for a short while but he still considered him a friend. He would cry over this later but he needed to protect his friends first. He used his magic to create columns under the feet of his friends, lifting them to safety. Percy shouted "Can't kill us from here."

Suddenly, Percy felt a tingling sensation in his head as Clarota's voice filled his mind "I'm not planning on killing all of you. I'll leave Tibsy alive."

Percy was slightly disorientated but managed to turn to Tiberius and say "Apparently, Clarota is going to spare you and you alone."

Tiberius was confused at first, but decided to ask Clarota the reason why. He knew trying to telepathically communicate with Clarota would be risky, due to Clarota being part of a hive mind. Tiberius finally shouted "Clarota, why do you want to spare me?"

Tiberius heard Clarota's voice in his mind "Personal reasons. You'll find out once the battle is over and you are mine."

Tiberius turned to the others and said "He's sparing me for personal reasons. The most I got was that I'd be his at the end of the battle." Scanlan and Vex looked at each other, a mischievous smirk shared between them.

Grog asked "Does that mean he's going to make you join the hive-mind he's in?"

Tiberius said "From what I've read on Illithids, such a thing has not happened. If it is possible than such a thing would have happened."

Keyleth then asked "What could it mean?"

Scanlan finally asked "Clarota, what did you mean when you told Tibsy that he would be yours?"

Scanlan heard Clarota's voice in his mind "I've said too much."

Scanlan smirked, turned to Vex and said "That confirms it."

Tiberius asked "Confirms what?" Scanlan pulled out his lute and began to play a tango melody. The Illihinds, Clarota included, stopped their attacks to focus on the music.

Vex smirked, turned to Tiberius and then started to sing " _Clarota's not over you yet_ _._ "

Scanlan continued the song " _You're clearly not over him either._ "

Vex sang " _Your love has transformed into hate._ "

Scanlan said " _Damn, sex right now would sure be_ _great._ "

Tiberius asked "What are you implying?"

Vex and Scanlan sang together " _This is a horny angry tango._ "

Scanlan sang " _You want to fight._ "

Vex sang " _He wants to bang._ "

Vex and Scanlan sang " _This is a horny angry tango._ "

Vex said " _You're truly furious but dang..._ "

Vex and Scanlan finished the verse together " _You're also horny too_."

Tiberius said in an angry tone of voice "I will cast a silence spell on the both of you if you two don't stop singing right now."

Scanlan decided to ignore Tiberius' threat and continue singing " _He wants to tear you limb from limb._ "

Vex sang " _And put your limbs all over his limbs._ "

Scanlan sang " _During this fight, he craves you more_."

Vex sang " _This would be better on the floor._ "

Vex and Scanlan sang " _You'll have a horizontal tango_."

Scanlan sang " _You've both pissed off._ "

Vex sang " _And yet turned on._ "

Vex and Scanlan sang " _You'll have a horizontal horny angry tango. Now it's time for a six bar long classic tango dance break._ " Scanlan played the lute while Vex pushed Tiberius off of his column. Tiberius very quickly casted the fly spell to make himself land safely. Once his feet touched the ground, Clarota pulled Tiberius into a tango stance and the two danced before Scanlan decided to try and flirt with Kima.

Scanlan said "Hey Kima, what about our horny angry tango?" Kima looked at Scanlan with angry in her eyes as she slapped Scanlan across the face.

Scanlan sadly sang to Kima " _I cannot slap you back. Because you are a lady._ "

Clarota decided to sing " _That clearly is a double standard._ "

Tiberius and Clarota sang together " _But it's probably for the best._ "

Vex and Scanlan sang " _This is a horny angry tango._ " ending the song as Clarota dipped Tiberius. Clarota felt the last chain of the hive mind break in his mind. He was free again, and he vowed to never be a slave to a hive mind again. Tiberius noticed the slight change in Clarota as Clarota lifted him back onto his feet.

Tiberius asked in a concerned tone of voice "Clarota, are you..?"

Clarota said "I am free. Now, let's get out of here."

Tiberius said "I was thinking the same thing."


End file.
